:Suffering with Hope" by Amy Joy Olivo

Any journey of worshipping God, becoming a mature disciple, and carrying Christ’s love is mark with suffering. Suffering seems to be one of the key ways God brings us to mature worship of Him. As we continue with our theme of celebrating life in the context of death, it is important to remember that this kind of celebration for now, only happens by faith, as we hope for our future reality of living face to face with God. Read these words from WBC member Amy Joy Olivo as she talks about her experience of celebrating bright hope of the resurrection in the context of dark suffering. Without Christ, I would be “like those who grieve without hope.” You see, I have a little girl that I carry in my heart but no longer in my arms. Her name is Maggie Faith and I delighted to carry her in my womb for 38 weeks and hold her in my arms for four days before she danced home to her Heavenly Father’s arms.
We knew from very early in my pregnancy that something was askew in her development. Initially, the doctors thought it was a chromosomal disorder. Then they began to suspect a neural tube defect like spina bifida in addition to the chromosomal disorder. My husband, Layne, and I were told she would probably be stillborn so we purposed in our hearts to enjoy whatever time the Lord gave us with her even if that meant the only time we would experience her life was while she was inside me. Every kick and hiccup was a treasure. It felt like she was dancing inside me and it was delightful!
As we neared her due date, we were so grateful that the Lord allowed my body to sustain her. We were hopeful and had been praying for the Lord to work in miraculous ways since the first grim diagnosis. Thirty-four weeks into my pregnancy, we were encouraged by our midwives to have a fetal MRI to see if we could confirm a diagnosis and give us an idea of the best place to deliver her. This test brought yet another possible diagnosis, this time in the Muscular Dystrophy family, with a very grim prognosis. There was so little hope offered, but we knew we serve a Living God who had sustained us thus far and would not abandon us. In fact, it was around this time that I had a vision of Jesus wrapping his arms around me. It is a vision that I continue to see to this day when I think of Maggie Faith.
Without a definitive diagnosis, we decided to give birth in a hospital where she could be evaluated and treated by neonatal experts. So on March 12, 2010, at 10:40 a.m., I delivered Margaret Faith Olivo by c-section. We had been told she would probably have to be resuscitated at birth, but, much to our great delight, she announced her arrival with a beautiful little cry! Weak though it was, it was music to my ears. She was immediately intubated and placed on a ventilator as they began to evaluate her condition. She valiantly fought for her life and delighted us with her dances for the next four days as the doctors ran tests to try to determine whether medicine could help her. Oh how we were sustained by the Presence of the Almighty and lifted up by the prayers of His Saints! Without Christ, we would have despaired!
In the end, we came to realize that the Lord was calling her home. Her body was simply too wonderful and fragile for this world. Without Christ and the promise of eternity with Him, I could never see this as a temporary, though painful, separation or eagerly anticipate a joyful reunion with her in His presence. The four beautiful days of her earthly life pale in comparison to the magnificent eternity we will spend together in the presence of our Savior. Without Christ, I could offer no words of hope to others. He has given me the words to tell her story so that I can tell of a Greater Story. I love to tell His story through her story—it helps me remember her and to deepen my understanding of all the good things we have in Christ. With Christ, yes, I grieve, but I do so as one with hope in the One who wraps His arms around me and will one day carry me safely home too!