Firgive So That You May Live by Jan Thompson

Forgiveness is a mark of becoming a mature disciple of Christ. Listen to this story from WBC member Jan Thompson.

My beautiful 17 year old niece left my home on the morning of July 12, 1982 to go to Waco, TX. That would be the last time we saw her alive. My life totally changed on the evening of July 13, 1982 at 10:00 P.M. with the television news statement: "BODIES OF MISSING TEENS FOUND ON THE SHORES OF LAKE WACO".
Time here does not allow details of the following years of investigations and horrendous stories of the torture of my niece and two of her friends. We were told that the children were "simply in the wrong place at the wrong time."
Days and months turned to years and I realized I was becoming consumed by the feelings of, I MUST see this through"! Most of my waking time was taken up by constantly trying to find out what happened that day in July, 1982. I had become unable to carry on my daily routine of being a good wife and mother. My dear husband was taking on my role in that capacity and never complained to me, but deep inside, he was living the same torment as I. I felt guilty as I spent most of my time with the investigators, yet I was driven to continue to be involved. My heart was becoming hard and I felt so much bitterness, not only for the four men who were eventually charged for the crime, but also for anyone who could not understand my involvement.
Sometime in 1985, a dear Christian friend from my church was aware of the demons struggling inside me. She came to me with this advice: "UNTIL YOU CAN FEEL FORGIVENESS IN YOUR HEART, YOU WILL NOT FEEL PEACE OR BE ABLE TO LIVE AGAIN," ~~~~~~oh wow-THAT HIT ME HARD! Did she actually say that I should forgive the four men who tortured, raped, and murdered three children?? How in the world could she think that would be possible?? And then I felt anger toward her.
Years passed slowly and I was still feeling the bitterness taking over my heart. I attended the lethal execution of the man found guilty of killing Jill. I THOUGHT it was something I must do. I felt so ALONE, although there were dozens of spectators present. I NOW KNOW that THE FEELING OF BEING ALONE WAS BECAUSE I DID NOT ASK MY GOD AND SAVIOR TO BE THERE WITH ME! This was my worst moment!!!
From that evening forward, I got on my knees for help. That's ALL I had to do!! The change was gradual, but the Holy Spirit came along beside me and has been with me every day since. I am still reminded of the days when I had no room in my heart for anything or anyone who could not find the killers of the children. However, today, I AM FREE OF THAT HARD HEART BECAUSE GOD HAS SHOWN ME THE WAY TO "FORGIVE, AND I NOW LIVE. ~~~~~~~~ WITHOUT HIM, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!